Monday, June 21, 2010

Dear Neighbors...

...Don't be alarmed! Disregard the shrieking coming from my apartment...I am going to make it. Unfortunately, there could be more occurrences to follow (although I am on my knees praying that there won't be). I have just seen my first roach.

In case you don't know, there are not many things that really scare me to death, ok, there are a lot...but roaches are way up there. They make me scream, cry, make sounds like I am throwing up and then the PTRSD (Post Traumatic Roach Sighting Disorder) kicks in and I am convinced I am going to die because this thing was in my home.

The fumes from the Raid might kill me, I might stand in a place I sprayed Raid the day before and then it is on my shoes...which were just on my ottoman...where I laid my purse...which hangs at my side...and once it is on my shirt I am FULLY contaminated and probably have to take every washable fiber I own to a laundromat, shower several times and then bleach everything else into oblivion. Then I can't sleep because of the thoughts and occasionally the dreams. What if his friends and family might be lurking nearby and come to investigate what has become of their comrade in the middle of the night...

I can't kill a roach, you know, with something besides long-shot-poison-that-I-can-spray-from 5-ft.-away-on-the-couch, I could never kill it by hitting it or smushing it or stepping on it. A.) because I can't physically get that close to it. B.) I can't do the crunch and C.) It would end up like the scene in the movie The Patriot where Mel Gibson kills a guy with a hatchet and continues to chop...long after the enemy is dead. I would lose control. And then I would fall on my knees (in another room) sobbing.

I'll do other insects, I don't like the things with LOTS of long legs... but I can handle it. I would do snakes and bats ANY day. I am scared to DEATH of spiders and sharks yet I am fascinated by both of them (on TV). But I don't. do. roaches.


  1. boo to roaches....they're soooo grosssss!!!! i pray there will not be anymore in Jesus' name!! I always pray for Jesus to take away the bugs!!!

  2. AMEN, sister! i like to put cups over them and hope that they suffocate, but they usually escape, the filthy things.

  3. ooh me and Lacie would do the cup trick (she taught me) and wait for a boy (Matt) to come kill it. We would always put something heavy (dictionary) on top of the cup to weigh it down so that they couldn't escape. And then throw the cup away, naturally. I hope you don't see any more roaches. if I lived alone and had such a, I don't know what I'd do. Probably go sleep in my car. Yikes.

  4. Hahaha! Please don't die of Raid poisoning!