Inspired by a fellow blogger and friend, the word optimistical. Do you know what I so do not want to be in the least? Optimistical. ALL I want to do is HATE and bitch. Have you ever seen this side of me before? It is called the when-life-sucks-and-my-heart-has-become-increasingly-hard-and-cold side. Sometimes it goes away. Times like this make it feel like it will not.
Here is an example of the words you might come across when I am in this wonderful type of mood. I have complained to my roommate for a week now about this guy and where he has chosen to park his Jeep…that is hooked to his boat…When I say complain I also mean that I have come in the door yelling in a fit of rage about how mad this guy is making me at the top of my lungs. Anyway…hopefully you will gather the details from my letter. Of course I also wanted to slash his tires, t-bone the side of him, and scream these things all to his face, but luckily someone convinced me to just write a little vent…so…this is what I wrote just to vent. So I would feel a little better having said the things I needed to say.
Dear Stupid Jeep slash boat owner guy.
I hate you right now. How inconsiderate could you be? Do you not realize that by the way you have your vehicles parked you are basically blocking off an entire parking lot? That is such a jerk thing to do. I have almost hit you several times as I am trying to pull in or out to avoid hitting either your Jeep or that stupid 3005oz car. I almost want to do it on purpose. I can’t possibly see anyone taking your side. It’s like parking in the middle of the street! If there is some kind of situation that merits you keeping your Jeep hooked up to your boat then you need to park them both in a better location for the betterment of all of the other people living around you. Some better spots would include the straight away just past the mailboxes or the empty spaces along the way out of the complex. If you choose to leave things as they are for much longer, granted I have already given you a week to realize your stupidity and rudeness, I will call and have you towed. Thanks for your time.
This is what I would really say if you this is not corrected soon. I will take your suggestions. Or I will be my rude self and highly offend my neighbor. I don’t really care at this point.
To whom it may concern:
Could you please consider moving your vehicles since they seem to be blocking off an entire parking area of our complex. It is really hard to navigate around you when pulling in or backing out of this area. There are other areas that you may park if you need to keep the boat and Jeep hitched such as the stretch of curb just past the mail boxes, the entire row of space directly perpendicular to the place you are in now, or the row of spaces before you get to the dumpsters on your way out of the complex. It has been a week now that we have given you time to consider the other tenants and now I feel I must say something. If you don’t move your Jeep to a more convenient place I will have to have you towed. Sincerely yours. Not.
This is what Ashley suggests:
Could you please consider moving your vehicles since they seem to be blocking off an entire parking area of our complex. It is really hard to navigate around you when pulling in or backing out of this area. There are other areas that you may park and I would ask that you would consider them.
That is way too nice for how I feel at this moment. If you have NOT been offended by me in the last 2 weeks you need to consider yourself very lucky. One might ask what has gotten into me…but I know exactly what has gotten into me and I will save that for another bad attitude post. On another hand, if you would like to help me, to challenge me and feel up to a screaming fight with me. I definitely need this. Be prepared to deal with a LOT of arguing (picture three-year-old) and probably a lot of irrationality. Be prepared to be mean. I can hold my own. Accepting your offers starting NOW!