Not Optimistical

Inspired by a fellow blogger and friend, the word optimistical. Do you know what I so do not want to be in the least? Optimistical. ALL I want to do is HATE and bitch. Have you ever seen this side of me before? It is called the when-life-sucks-and-my-heart-has-become-increasingly-hard-and-cold side. Sometimes it goes away. Times like this make it feel like it will not.

Here is an example of the words you might come across when I am in this wonderful type of mood. I have complained to my roommate for a week now about this guy and where he has chosen to park his Jeep…that is hooked to his boat…When I say complain I also mean that I have come in the door yelling in a fit of rage about how mad this guy is making me at the top of my lungs. Anyway…hopefully you will gather the details from my letter. Of course I also wanted to slash his tires, t-bone the side of him, and scream these things all to his face, but luckily someone convinced me to just write a little vent…so…this is what I wrote just to vent. So I would feel a little better having said the things I needed to say.

Dear Stupid Jeep slash boat owner guy.

I hate you right now. How inconsiderate could you be? Do you not realize that by the way you have your vehicles parked you are basically blocking off an entire parking lot? That is such a jerk thing to do. I have almost hit you several times as I am trying to pull in or out to avoid hitting either your Jeep or that stupid 3005oz car. I almost want to do it on purpose. I can’t possibly see anyone taking your side. It’s like parking in the middle of the street! If there is some kind of situation that merits you keeping your Jeep hooked up to your boat then you need to park them both in a better location for the betterment of all of the other people living around you. Some better spots would include the straight away just past the mailboxes or the empty spaces along the way out of the complex. If you choose to leave things as they are for much longer, granted I have already given you a week to realize your stupidity and rudeness, I will call and have you towed. Thanks for your time.

The end.

This is what I would really say if you this is not corrected soon. I will take your suggestions. Or I will be my rude self and highly offend my neighbor. I don’t really care at this point.

To whom it may concern:

Could you please consider moving your vehicles since they seem to be blocking off an entire parking area of our complex. It is really hard to navigate around you when pulling in or backing out of this area. There are other areas that you may park if you need to keep the boat and Jeep hitched such as the stretch of curb just past the mail boxes, the entire row of space directly perpendicular to the place you are in now, or the row of spaces before you get to the dumpsters on your way out of the complex. It has been a week now that we have given you time to consider the other tenants and now I feel I must say something. If you don’t move your Jeep to a more convenient place I will have to have you towed. Sincerely yours. Not.

This is what Ashley suggests:

Could you please consider moving your vehicles since they seem to be blocking off an entire parking area of our complex. It is really hard to navigate around you when pulling in or backing out of this area. There are other areas that you may park and I would ask that you would consider them.

That is way too nice for how I feel at this moment. If you have NOT been offended by me in the last 2 weeks you need to consider yourself very lucky. One might ask what has gotten into me…but I know exactly what has gotten into me and I will save that for another bad attitude post. On another hand, if you would like to help me, to challenge me and feel up to a screaming fight with me. I definitely need this. Be prepared to deal with a LOT of arguing (picture three-year-old) and probably a lot of irrationality. Be prepared to be mean. I can hold my own. Accepting your offers starting NOW!

Bugs

I might not be an entomologist but I really like most bugs. I took an entomology class and really enjoyed learning all of the things I did in there...and I have retained a lot of that knowledge. My roommates used to tell me I might could marry an entomologist...but I'm not sure. I just know that I am tired of people questioning my bug knowledge ok? You may be asking yourself right now "What has spurred this on?" Well, I have one really good example, then another one a little less exciting and today Joanie's blog pretty much inspired me to blog about the latter (and because I have pictures--ooohhh, exciting I know!)

SO once upon a time I went to a golf tournament. I met a man who was really funny, he and I were immediately cutting up and he asked who I was. I told him, "Catherine" and asked back, "Who are you?" Well he introduced himself to me as someone pretty famous in my circle...though I had never seen the man, so I laughed and said, "No you're not..." and it was him. Well. The next occasion we happened upon one another was a fall retreat. See, I do not care for retreats much and I am NOT sure why I had chosen (however reluctantly I am SURE...) to attend this one, but as per usual, I was not thrilled to be there at this moment. I was standing boredly around some people who I used to be friends with and kind of watched these little orangish and black bugs crawl around all over this potted plant. I must've said aloud as I thought, "I think these are ladybug larvae." Now I am not sure if I really knew that or had seen it in class or what. Maybe God just gave me that specific word of knowledge...BUT this man HOOTED out in laughter and said, "WHAT! They aren't ladybug larvae...they look NOTHING like ladybugs...HAHAHA!!!" So of course I shut up immediately since I was only a little sure of myself anyway...and then left and cried because it hurt my feelings...and then I probably decided to home shortly after. I usually don't last long at those things. Definitely not the whole time. EVER.

When I arrived home and remembered, I googled ladybug larvae and here is what popped up:

The question, was it the bugs we had seen? YES! AND I was outraged! I felt so good like it feels when you know you are right...and mad that he had made fun of me. I wanted to HOOT at him and say "I TOLD you so!" ANYWAY. I'm not sure if my "I told you so" ever reached his ears, but there was story number one. The more recent one however was just a few weeks ago.

Another girl I used to be friends with had asked me to come plant flowers at her house. So we were outside gardening and all and this spider ran out. He moved slowly and we screamed and jumped back, but my fascination yet intense fear (maybe an oxymoron...) of spiders made me look very closely to it after I knew I was safe...and all I could see was his back...like the top of him. He was the same shape as a black widow but all he had was these red little dots on his back. They were red...and on the back...of the abdominal part...BUT I just knew it was a black widow. I made Lindsay kill it and not just let it go since we couldn't be 100% sure...

...I finally got around to washing out my recycling bins to bring them inside. I picked them both up to empty them and set them upside down on the grass so I could begin to rinse them. I noticed something sticky on my hands and looked down to see what I might have touched on the trash can and then I noticed it RIGHT beside my fingers underneath the rim...another little spider JUST like the one the day before--and this time I could see his tummy...and there was the infamous red hourglass marking of a black widow. I PANICKED and ran inside. Then I got my camera (because more than killing it I think it was more importantly to capture it to show Lindsay...and be right...again...and research him more...) and then to get spray and kill it from a distance... I took a few good pictures and then sprayed it. Luckily it seemed to die instantly and not freak out and go nuts moving around all spastically as the poison courses through it's little body... I was thrilled. Then I dumped it out of the rim of the trash can onto the patio. It landed perfectly on its legs so that I could see the back now too. So I took another picture, naturally...and then stomped it and dragged my shoe across the cement grinding him and all of his poisonous venom to bits. But I would still be afraid to touch the spot where he was in case I could still somehow get it's venom in me or on me. Of course all the next few days I was paranoid. I wondered if I got bit by a black widow in my sleep would I wake up from the bite, or sickness...or would I just die in my sleep. Please. If you know, let me know. Below are the pictures! Woo! Hoo!

Me and My Old Blue Jeans...

But not the HAnnah Montana song because I actually hate that song...I understand that I am probably about to get in trouble again, but I would just like to defend myself a little bit. This is my OPINION. If anyone disagrees, they are free to do so. I don’t try to be offensive, but I like to come home and VENT sometimes. This is my place to do it. You could very well write about the SAME thing I am writing about with a completely different view: e.g. “I work for a huge law firm and I hate that there are boring meetings all day everyday. I wish we had time and freedom to foster creativity at work.” While I think… “I am so glad that my day is so structured and organized. I enjoy the productivity that comes from our meetings!”

I LOVE structure, organization and order…you may feel it cramps your style, that I am rigid, harsh, sterile [which dictionary.com defines as: lacking in imagination, creativity or excitement. Uninspiring.] or anal-retentive (defined as a person who is excessively orderly and fussy…). Honestly, I actually am those things…OCPD, I apologize… BUT I cannot HANDLE disorder, I see it as chaos and it hurts me… I am a perfectionist. I expect things I am involved in to be perfect from the minute they begin. I have limited tolerance when they are not. I am well aware that these are issues and I am sorry when I [as I am SURE to do] offend you by the way that I react to things sometimes.

I might be a VERY strict parent…I feel that you fix your little girl’s hair, including a bow, everyday of her life even if she screams and cries every time. I also think you can use the other side of the hairbrush to pop her bottom if she won’t be still. You may feel that you would never do anything that your child objects to…she doesn’t like it, don’t force it. Well what about teeth brushing, nose wiping, diaper changing? Those things have to be done regardless if your child likes them, screams bloody murder or sleeps right through them. You might think this is harsh, overbearing, mean, even cruel. But I think if you don’t you are negligent, I think you need to ask yourself who is the parent. I think you need to be stronger as a parent and not lazy and just give in. If you let your child rule you on these things now, just wait until it gets to the point where she wants her own cell phone, doesn’t want to do her homework or get dressed or even go to school? What about when she wants to date that kid with the motor cycle, tattoos, and is 5 years older than she is—when she’s 16? Do you think she is just miraculously going to let you lay down the law after all of those years? Do you think she is going to let it go easily? No. She will still cry and pitch fits and throw things and run away. She will not all of a sudden respect your opinion and rules. Sorry.

I understand that from your point of view it seems that you are being loving, that you don’t want your child to not like you, or think or say you are mean…or best case scenario, that you are choosing your battles. WELL…I disagree. Young children thrive with boundaries and structure. They look to you to set rules and standards. They need you to do things for them that they can’t do themselves, even if they don’t KNOW what they need at that time. You make a child go to bed at a decent hour because you know they need a full nights sleep. What if your 4 year old, “doesn’t waaaannnt to go to bed?” Who is going to teach your child if you do not? Trust me, she will be mad at you later when she is so tired by 9 AM the next day that she cannot walk straight. She is going to fall and bump her head or her lip because her balance is going to suffer if she doesn’t get a nap…don’t you think she is going to cry then? That is going to hurt worse than the “injustice” of making her go to bed. She is going to be MAD when she looks back at her baby pictures and she sees that you let her run around looking like a ragamuffin too!

With all of those things said, here are my most recent reasons to need to rant…

I cannot wear jeans to work. I was told that it was because I needed to look professional. Yet I can wear flip flips. Yet I can wear yoga pants, ordinary t-shirts, and cargo pants…but not a nice pair of blue jeans? I understand in theory…you wouldn’t want me to wear old, faded, hole-y, frayed edges or any other ratty jeans…but a nice pair of jeans? I guarantee you my jeans would look nicer than the stupid-khaki-or-brown-cargo-pants-now-with-bleach-water-stains on them look!

Second point…I work at a daycare. I work with one-year-olds, with BABIES. Let me tell you how functional "professional" is NOT when you work with babies...my pencil skirts don't allow me to sit Indian-style on the floor for story time... my black pinstriped pants look awesome with snot, peas, drool and spit up, milk crust, other chewed up food and probably poop on them, AND my silk shirts that have to be dry cleaned...yeah, they're great for letting me help my 1 year olds paint and make their precious little hand prints into plaster of paris... Not to mention none of these things look professional with tennis shoes...and I am not risking little John's life by wearing heels and not being able to run across the room or playground before bigger John throws some random toy at his head...My eyes are NOT rolling... I can make many more points...but it seems I have very few public forums which I am allowed to share them on these days...

I wrote a status on my facebook page trying to express the agony I feel when picking out my clothes for the week…it said, “You would laugh if you could see the tantrum I am throwing right now because I can’t wear jeans to work.” BUT it is true. You would think I was 4 years old. I really do fling myself on my bed, (couch, or occasionally floor) and cry. This happens repeatedly each evening and in the morning when I am getting dressed. I kick off my pants, throw shirts and shoes across the room and talk to myself in a pathetic voice about how unfair this life is. I whine and cry! I hate how I look! I waste money on clothes I hate and ruin…it is SO frustrating.

The first thing I do when I walk in the door each afternoon is strip off my school clothes. I hate fall shoes. I HATE ANYTHING BUT JEANS and FLIP FLOPS!!! I HATE khakis. This last one actually has a rational explanation. Hatred of khakis…and actually the combination of pants and tennis shoes comes from high school. I was required to wear a uniform of khakis, a collared shirt, tucked in, belt, tennis shoes and [yes], visible socks. I hated every day of high school if I am not mistaken. I whined and cried about EVERYthing school related, made VERY valid points about why this was not functional, how it was pointless, more costly, did NOT foster academic success (or rather uniforms did NOT promote academic success…or eliminate competition and social comparison…because they weren’t FULL uniforms…) and they finally saw the light…the year AFTER I graduated. I was outraged! I just feel like this is ALWAYS how my life is. I am ALWAYS stuck in the group that is the guinea pig group that test out an unsuccessful idea…and then after I suffer for a good long time, the powers that be realize it really just isn’t working…and change it…when it no longer affects me. Irony. FURY.

SO. I THINK that if I were a parent, which I am NOT, which some of you reading may already feel I should NEVER be, and I had to leave my children in daycare, I would want to see my child’s teacher dressed comfortably, in practical, functional clothes, that say to me ‘this teacher is going to be very involved in my child’s day on every level from feeding and diapering, to playing on the floor, holding and running around, to arts and crafts. She is not concerned with ruining her clothes, getting a little oatmeal on her when my baby needs a hug or a hand. She is going make sure she is experiencing the process of art, helping her tactile and sensory skills develop. She’s not afraid of a little dirt, blood, drool, snot…’ like you won’t be when it comes to loving your own kid. People, I LOVE these kids! I really do. Through the tears, snot, drool, diapers, sticky, dirty hands, spit up, food, anything…but I need to be helped, ALLOWED, to do my job, to take care of them, play with them, hold them and LOVE them!!!

So let me wear jeans. The end.

Love

There is a new boy in my life. He has wild hair, beautiful eyes and a little space between his front teeth. When he smiles or laughs it melts my heart. He has such pretty dark skin that tans so easily…and thighs and a belly that I think are the cute-EST! ( I keep telling him to enjoy those rolls while it's still cute to have rolls...) I can't keep from squeezing him! And I know it is clear from the picture but he clearly loves me being in his face all the time...it's just that face...how can you help but kiss it!? I love him. He is just like my baby boy from 8 years ago…not the first boy I ever loved, but the love of my life.

I’m in love with him. He’s cuddly, easy, fun, he toddles around in his plain white little onsie…just to destroy me. I LOVE it. I love him. As much as I LOVE little girls, I love a baby boy. I work all day with this age...they are all cute babies...this one though...I don't even know what to say... I love him?

P.S. Hampton…no one can ever TRULY replace you…but I warned you about growing up...

...and I still and always will love you...

Work...work?

Well again it has been a long time. I have a HARD time once I miss a few days to catch up...so much happens and SO much has been happening. BUT I HAVE TO update you all on my job! After a LOT of frustrating set backs in the job arena I have finally landed one that I think is PERFECT for me for right now! After FHDC, Legacy, Ashlyn, Unemployed, Substituing, McPhaul IRONY (which would be a fun post sometime...) it is about time I find something that I love!

The first week I had to open which meant I had to be there at 7 AM. Ok, for those of you who truly know me...even saying the words "7 AM" make me want to throw up...The ONLY time I have successfully operated at those hours are on mission trip...and that lasts for one week, tops, on Holy-Spirit-Adrenaline I am sure, and when I get home I sleep for like days at a time and I am not exagerrating. At all. I sleep 9 to 12 hours at a time. a TYPICAL night. It is like I am running on empty if I don't have sleep... I think I am more passionate about sleeping than almost anything. Except babies...and mission trips...maybe hugs...ok. I like sleep a LOT.

NEEDLESS to say I never thought I would say what I am about to say. I would rather have the early shift at work. I would rather wake up at 5:50 in the morning, leave for work in the dark by 6:40 and be ready to roll at school by 7:00. I would.

All in all though, I LOVE my job. I love my kids. I love the people I work with. I have had a fun few weeks getting EVERYthing as PERFECT and organized as I can in my room…that’s the perfectionist in me…Here's Cooper and Nicole working on hanging up our ABC's. We have a lot of "helpers" in our room.

I’ve been opening so the kids get dropped off with me. I like to think it is just because they really like me the best, but I have a feeling that they trust me because their mommies leave them with me…so they are kind of attached to me. They like me, some will even cry when I leave the room. Most of the time that feels good…sometimes it is frustrating…when someone else needs me more and I put one of mine down and they fall out on the floor…throw their passy across the room in outrage and then upset because they don’t have their passy…[sigh…]

Anyway, this week I have been moved to the infant room because both of the teachers in there, one who is pregnant with twins and another, have been out sick with the flu. I know the babies now though, I got intimately acquainted with each of them the last 2 days...usually two of them at a time...

I feel really good about the fact that if anyone ever had to run my classroom, it is ALL organized and ALL spelled out...for your ease and entertainment...

So if you REALLY want details, this is how my day goes:

7:00 Clock-in

• Drop stuff off
• Turn on quiet classical music in 2’s room for drop-off
• Read books, do puzzles, other indoor play

7:25 Begin breakfast routine

• Spray table down with bleach water
• Set up chairs
• Wipe hands

7:30 Breakfast:

· Bigger kids get smaller chairs, just a little milk in sippys because we pour it out after breakfast. Cut up things into bites as needed, some will NOT want it cut up, etc. ______ gets special milk, no juice for ________________. 1’s do NOT get syrup, jelly, etc.

· Kids will continue to arrive throughout the breakfast process unfortunately…if you need more plates, food, etc., call for the director or ask a parent to let them know what we need on their way out.

· Wipe hands and face before you let them get up.

· Dump food into trash can, milk into sink, stack plates, cups at sink, spoons on top, periodically send out with the director

· Wipe table before putting a new kid at a spot another ate at

· Inform arriving teachers how much their kids ate or didn’t eat

· Change kids only as necessary

Here are a few having breakfast in the 2's.

8 or 8:15 Move to 1’s (preferably before all arrive, you might have to carry smaller ones in the hall)

• Turn on music
• Finish breakfast: Spray table
• Get out some chairs (bathroom)
• One might want to eat with sibling, they who have already eaten may want to eat again, at least have their milks out
• Wipe hands and face before letting them up, dump food, send dishes out, spray table again, spot check floor (especially if something one could pick up and eat) wipe down chairs, return chairs
• Continue quiet exploration

Teachers:

• Check roll
• Start daily sheets
• Clean up
• Clean up song

8:30-8:45 Circle time

• Open shut them song
• Calendar (counting, days, month, number recognition)
• ABCs
• Relevant book
• Explain/review learning themes, engage kids in center play: blocks, musical instruments, dramatic play (stroller, vacuum, kitchen and food), etc. then by 9 start diapers

9:00-9:15 Diaper changing routine: gloves, diaper, kid on changing table (diapers in individual labeled tubs under changing table, special wipes for one)

• Old diaper off, wipe clean, wrap in gloves
• New diaper on, wash child’s hands
• Write on daily sheet
• Diaper in diaper can
• Wash your hands
• Spray changing table with bleach water
• Wipe down
• Next kid

9:15 to 9:30 Teacher guided activity

9:30 to 9:45 Stories and songs time

Clean up

9:45 to 10:30 Outside

(T/Th—Science or nature activity)

10:30 Arts (* THIS is worthy of a paragraph below...)

11:00 Lunch routine

• Spray table
• Set up chairs
• Wipe hands
• Bibs
• Eat: Help feed bites to Cooper, Ella, Beckett as needed
• Try to wipe hands and face before you let them get up.
• Dump food into trash can, milk into sink, stack plates, cups at sink, spoons on top, write on daily sheets.
• Get mats out, cover each mat with a towel
• Make sure each crib has a new sheet
• Put away loud toys into the bathroom
• Lights out
• White noise (orange, waterfall CD, loud, on “repeat all”)
• When babies are finished eating change their diaper (whole routine, wash hands) and put them to bed.
• We just say “Night night,” “Lie down,” “Get on your mat…”
• We might sing one song or read one book
• Crib babies put themselves to sleep, mat babies need a little patting or just to be sat by. A Good nap is from 11:40-1:40

Teachers during nap:

• Send dishes out, bibs n laundry basket, spray table again, (occasionally we need to scrub with soap and water sponge first, then bleach water) and wipe down. Sweep floor and spot mop floor (especially if something Ella could pick up and eat), wipe down chairs, return chairs
• Rinse off sippy cups
• Refill and put in fridge
• Clean all toys with bleach water and wipe dry
• Make fresh bleach water
• Restock laundry: 3 crib sheets, 2 towels, 1 blanket, bibs
• Eat lunch or go on breaks, cover in the infant room

1:45 to 2-ish Wake up

• Strip cribs and mats, laundry in basket
• Disinfect mats and put away (under furthest crib)
• QUIET activities: Books
• Songs and rocking
• Coloring
• Play-Doh
• Don’t wake up the Birdies song
• Replace crib sheets

2:00-2:30 Diaper routine:

• gloves, diaper, kid on changing table
• Old diaper off, wipe clean, wrap in gloves
• New diaper on, wash child’s hands
• Write on daily sheet
• Diaper in diaper can
• Wash your hands
• Spray changing table with bleach water
• Wipe down
• Next kid

(One leaves right after 2 PM everyday)

2:30-3:00 Teacher guided activity

Clean up

3:00 Snack routine

• Spray table
• Set up chairs
• Wash hands
• Bibs
• Eat snack

Before I leave:

• Take laundry to laundry room (start, switch and fold loads as needed)
• Restock laundry: 3 crib sheets, 2 towels, 1 blanket, bibs
• Gather all personal belongings
• Clock out and leave

*NOW I have decided to write a whole nother post about the asterisk above entitled "ARTS" Please stay tuned!

Bad day and bad mood

I am in a bad mood. I have had a bad day. I have kind of had a bad week. But today...First, the babies that I keep during the day came an hour earlier than usual—at 9. I went to bed about 11:30 last night and woke up READY to go at 6:30. I had breakfast and then went back to sleep until the arrived…so by then I was groggy again…sleep is ever a mystery to me…

So morning went by alright, 9, 10, the 10 week old slept a little, until 11:50, and Ashlyn was fine. She ate breakfast and watched Sesame Street and other kid TV…and then T-bone was up. Soon after he was up, he was hungry. Seeing as how he won’t take a bottle at all his mom has to come back and feed him mid-day which USUALLY is fine…except today he had an extra hour to be STARVING since they came an hour early. His mom is usually back around 12:45 but today at 12:30 I texted her and asked how close she was because he had completely lost his mind already. She called and we decided to meet so he could eat a little sooner than if we just waited on her to arrive. As soon as we got in the car he stopped screaming and began to sob a little more quietly. By the time we reached Chick-fil-a he was ok until the food supply came.

Ashlyn played on the playground, slammed her fingers in the door, would only eat a few bites and only for her mom and was beginning to get tired…it was after all almost 2 PM! It was already a long morning and listening to a baby scream is about the most stressful thing ever, especially knowing I really can’t do anything for him. And THIS baby in particular also happens to hate me…so it isn’t just crying, it is a full-fledged-fingers-and-toes-flayed-out-arms-over-head-whole-body-stiff-SCREAMING. I feel like Rachel on Friends but I swear he’s SCREAMING “I HATE YOU!”

As we drove home he fell asleep in the car and I transferred him inside. I put Ashlyn down for her nap and I thought how wonderful the afternoon had just become…for 45 minutes. Then Tommy was awake. Ashlyn continued her sleeping for exactly 2 hours as she always does. Tommy was squirmy and uncomfortable seeming most of the time he was awake. THEN he pooped. It was absolutely disgusting. It looked like a yellowish-orange-paint spill or cheap-honey-mustardy-gooey-yogurty-ness. It luckily didn’t smell…but it took me forever to get…him…clean. Then he continued to be difficult. It just wasn’t a good day for him. He finally progressed to his screaming about the time Ashlyn woke up. I interrupted her afternoon snack, threw her in the car with the screaming wonder and we drove laps around the loop. Tommy fell asleep and Ashlyn “sang” (and by sang I mean screamed and screeched and made weird noises and sounds) along with the music. Finally we met their mom back at the house and she took them AWAY. I was wiped…and thought 9 am would come way too soon tomorrow…I am just SO ready to have children at a place where children belong...not my house. And I am ready to get out of my house. And have the children be on the same schedule, same age, etc.

I sat and talked with my roommate and heard all about her awful day and just continued to be mad at EVERYONE. I just get really mad!!! This life basically sucks! Then I checked facebook and one of my friends statuses said, “Congratulations Carriage House Realty!!!! You have joined Atlanta traffic, fire ants, the color orange…, and terrorists as things I absolutely loathe.....” and it inspired me to write a list of things I absolutely loathe…or even dislike…which has turned into a long blog post since I was already in a bad mood. I hate everything.

So I started making my list and decided that I hate so many things that I would have to put them in categories…foods I hate, people I hate, movies and TV I hate, especially kids shows I hate, behavior I hate, words I hate, songs I hate, businesses and organizations that I hate, etc…and that just kind of took the fun out of it. William’s was just so well said that I wanted to do it too…but instead I’ve decided not to…also because some of the things I say that I hate make me sound like an awful person and I’m really not. So that’s all I guess. A little vent post…

The temperature in heaven?

Have you ever wondered what the temperature will be like in heaven? I, being a person who is rarely satisfied with a temperature, often do. If I am the slightest bit cold it kind of hurts me. I can't really describe it. It is more than just a little uncomfortable. Then I feel irritable and I can't concentrate on anything except how uncomfortable I am.

Also there is the fact that having to wear a lot of clothes simply annoys me. I hate layering, I hate having to wear jackets or coats and socks. I would prefer to wear flip flops and dresses everyday of my life. I could tolerate jackets and coats for a very short time, when it is not actually very cold to anyone else, and get to wear the winter and fall outfits I actually really like...but then I am ready for summer again.

I think the problem is that my temperature sensitivity is just screwed up. If I am a good temperature, everyone else is hot. If everyone else is comfortable, I am likely to be cold. If it is cold to anyone else, I am freezing and if I am actually hot, you KNOW it is hot (or I am sick.) So, if heaven is perfect, and I believe it will be, there is not pain or sadness or crying in heaven, then I believe the temperature will be perfect as well...because if it isn't I might be sad, or in pain...or irritated...and I won't be those things in heaven.

BUT how is THAT going to work? Will my body just finally be normal? Will we all be made the same, completely comfortable at the same temperature, God's favorite temperature? Or will everyone FEEL their own personal favorite temperature? Like will I always feel like it is 78 to 80 degrees...and Ashley always be cool enough, and Carrie always warm? I am so intrigued! Or, and I would be a little disappointed by this option...will the temperature always be changing, like it does here, with the seasons, according to different climates--and we just not care? Not feel it or not notice or care? I would REALLY like some insight and opinions on this if anyone cares to share...even if it is expressing your thought that I am wasting my time thinking about these kinds of things, I'm ok with that!