Dear Neighbors...

...Don't be alarmed! Disregard the shrieking coming from my apartment...I am going to make it. Unfortunately, there could be more occurrences to follow (although I am on my knees praying that there won't be). I have just seen my first roach.

In case you don't know, there are not many things that really scare me to death, ok, there are a lot...but roaches are way up there. They make me scream, cry, make sounds like I am throwing up and then the PTRSD (Post Traumatic Roach Sighting Disorder) kicks in and I am convinced I am going to die because this thing was in my home.

The fumes from the Raid might kill me, I might stand in a place I sprayed Raid the day before and then it is on my shoes...which were just on my ottoman...where I laid my purse...which hangs at my side...and once it is on my shirt I am FULLY contaminated and probably have to take every washable fiber I own to a laundromat, shower several times and then bleach everything else into oblivion. Then I can't sleep because of the thoughts and occasionally the dreams. What if his friends and family might be lurking nearby and come to investigate what has become of their comrade in the middle of the night...

I can't kill a roach, you know, with something besides long-shot-poison-that-I-can-spray-from 5-ft.-away-on-the-couch, I could never kill it by hitting it or smushing it or stepping on it. A.) because I can't physically get that close to it. B.) I can't do the crunch and C.) It would end up like the scene in the movie The Patriot where Mel Gibson kills a guy with a hatchet and continues to chop...long after the enemy is dead. I would lose control. And then I would fall on my knees (in another room) sobbing.

I'll do other insects, I don't like the things with LOTS of long legs... but I can handle it. I would do snakes and bats ANY day. I am scared to DEATH of spiders and sharks yet I am fascinated by both of them (on TV). But I don't. do. roaches.

New life

Well, I am LOVING island life! I LOVE the salty sea air, the breeze and even the humidity. I've already said that once my hair grows long enough to wear curly again there is a good chance I will never go back to straight. Wild beach hair (you know what I'm talking about) for life! I love the 14 hours-a-day sunlight and that the temperature almost always stays about the same even when the sun goes down. NONE of this having to turn on the car's heat in the morning, a/c in the afternoon stuff. Even if it is hot, at least it can make up its mind!

There is almost always a 30% chance of rain when I check the weather...and then it will thunderstorm for about 20 minutes and the sun is back out. I LOVE a good thunderstorm! And my weather channel app has a 'Beach' tab... I can find out everything you wanted to know about the beach with the touch of my thumb. Low tide, high tide, surface temperature of the water, wave height, best time to fish... I love the amazing, thick, plush grass that grows everywhere here. It makes me just want to roll around in it, run and tumble, do cartwheels...wrestle. And it's green all the time.

I love the view from the causeway (tall bridges) on and off the island, especially driving home. The rivers and the intracoastal waterway...it makes me want to have a kayak. I love absense of traffic (except at the roundabout...which just seems to be caused by people who aren't sure WHAT to do there...) I Kings Way and the roads that are seemingly enclosed by big beautiful trees and spanish moss. I love that people ride bikes. It makes me really want a bike too. I love the marsh, I love Epworth, I love the sunset over the marsh AT Epworth. I love that it makes me feel like I am a world away in Africa. It looks like the beginning of the Lion King. You can't look at the sun because it is the biggest, brightest, orange ball of fire you've ever seen.

I love the pier and the little shops in the Village. Tonya's is the equivalent of Plain Jane...and I can't even afford to walk past the window! I love the new brick path along the beach, I mean getting out for a walk in the evenings along (or ON) the beach...as opposed to Lumpkin Street (which is wonderful, and already miss the blinky fireflies...) When you walk along and it is high tide the waves crash against the rocks and you can feel the ocean spray. Neptune park is picturesque as is the historic lighthouse...it's all just really beautiful. It's just like when I was growing up and we would come in from a long day at the beach, take our showers and get dressed nicely, damp hair and sunkissed [read fried] faces... to go out to eat dinner and play putt putt or have ice cream. (Or buy hermit crabs...you know I got one every year... TANGENT: One summer after I had just finished 8th grade, I went on my first mission trip, to Mexico. My mom's church joins with multiple other churches in the district and takes a team of about 85 people to build houses every year. Well, I was on a team with several other young people but was by far the youngest. There was a couple of college kids on the team and they did such a good job of including me that I forgot how young I was...and I began to fall "in love" with one of the guys... Barron Thompson. Then the mission trip was almost over, the mission trip goggles seemed to have slipped...and I realized it would never work out between us. (It was me, not him... "Let's just be friends," I told him) He was VERY devastated (obviously) and acted like a jerk. (It also might've had to do more with me beating him badly in a game of hearts (in which I definitely Shot the Moon...and you know males and their egos...) So we ended it on bad terms...I left, he went back to college...and the next week, whilst on vacation at the beach, the night came when I bought my [annual] hermit crab...and I promptly named him Barron-Thompson-the-Crab. Rather like a knight. You know...wonder where Barron Thompson is today...? END TANGENT).

Long story short, I feel like I am just on a long vacation..which may not be a bad thing!!!

I work everyday from 10-6, sometimes later, which I actually really enjoy right now. I like that I get so much done after everyone else leaves and the phones stop ringing and there are no crying babies. I like that the sun is setting while I drive home. I really even like my little 20 minute drive to and from work. I like my super-cool-official-important badge that I have to wear that bears the homeland security seal...and I like that people salute me when I drive through the gate. (This is just a polite gesture I think, seeing as how I am of no rank or position to deserve a salute...but it still makes me feel important and respected. Hey, after all, I am training up mini secret service agents and U.S. Marshalls and other federal agents. But if you think about it I AM training up secret service agents and U.S. Marshall's kids... "MY kid got WHAT!?! Oh, I'll show you bitten..." "I'm SO SORRY Sir, please don't hurt me, I also probably can't do very many push ups..."). There are also tire slasher things at the gate. [Read scary]

I enjoy my job, there is a lot of room for my opinion, creativity and ideas. The girls I work with are fun to be around and make me smile. I already think the Lord has given me a heart to pray for them and learn from them. All of them come from backgrounds different from anything I am used to in Athens. My bosses are hilarious and helpful as I learn (and understanding and gracious when I fail--or ask a zillion questions and for approval and praise :)). I have much to learn, one thing being what I try hard to remember every day...sometime you just have to let it go. It's ok if I leave my desk a little messy, I don't HAVE to know what do to about specific situation right now, we can work on it together tomorrow...just relax, I have to tell myself, it's just so easy to want to be PERFECT at what I love so much!

So recap...it is indeed "Heaven on Earth and an onion slice..."

(except that it can be pretty lonely with no one to share it all with...)

Insanity.

Well in the month since I have posted last I have closed the aforementioned daycare I was running out of may apartment, accepted another job the God just handed me on a silver platter and moved five hours away from Athens, to St. Simons. I'm also trying out this mobile blog stuff...MAYBE you'll get more updates :)

I decided that home daycares are meant to be run out of homes. Not apartments. And I've decided there are a few things I need before I will attempt to run Pure Light Preschool again. #1 a house, #2 a child or two of my own and #3 a fenced in yard. Otherwise I have it all and I really do think that it will be my dream job someday when the conditions are right.

I've know forever that I pretty much adore the beach. Well that has been reaffirmed year after year after year and so I began looking online to see what jobs I would do if I moved there. I didn't look for openings, just looked at what there was. I saw a center that I had never heard of but that I knew someone, a friend of a friend who worked around there. I mentioned it to my friend who mentioned it to her friend who asked her father about it...who told me they had JUST lost their assistant director. This was on a Thursday. I called the next day and spoke with the director, by Tuesday I'd submitted my resume, a week later she contacted me, we met in Atlanta shortly after that and I visited the area the next week. From the day I found out that I officially got the job I had 10 days to move...and exactly 4 weeks from the day I heard about this job I spent my last night in Athens.

Ashley and I left SSI on a Thursday, I was consumed by wedding festivities for Friday, Saturday and Sunday and on Monday I began packing to move...on Friday. I had less than 2 weeks to say good-bye. To say good-bye to the area I had lived since I was 6. I have never lived more than 45 minutes from home. I have never been more than 2 hours away from any of my friends or the people I love... and now I am.

But it is a new adventure. I think that I had known this time was coming for awhile. I am positive that God was making me ready because I would never have been willing to do something like this otherwise.

But like I said, I am ready for something new, and it could be fun...and if it is not, hey, I still live at the beach!

April Update

Well...the preschool is officially in its 8th week of operation and I would say it is going well. Some days get long and the kids of course occasionally have [really] bad days but I think it all gets easier [better] every week.

We have a website, you have to be a member to view it but if I know you just add a personal message and I will add you as a member! If you don't visit the site here is a brief synopsis...

We have 5 kids, 3 girls and 2 boys... The boys are both 4 years old as is one of the girls. The other 2 girls are 2 years old. We call them the little girls. The little girls probably require more work or energy, however the 4 year olds present many different challenges (that tax the body, soul AND spirit...)

The kids come to my house and spend all day every day there. We are "open" from 7:30 to 5:30. I work from 7:30 to 4:30 with a break somewhere in the middle of the day and I have a co-worker who comes from 8:30 to 5:30 everyday. Adult interaction, conversation, and of course and extra set of eyes and hands, etc... make the day so much more fun. Plus, she does the cooking :)

I have transformed my living room/dining room [kitchen...ok, whole house] into a play room and filled it with all kinds of kid stuff from toys to games, sticker and incentive charts to cubbies! We have a schedule, including circle time, occasionally art or music, more healthy meals and LOTS of outside time. The "back yard" has been transformed into a great little play area for us! We take fun and educational field trips each week and since it has become consistently warm, we have set up a water play area!

But of course you run into issues and some days are plain. out. shitty. I really should post more, but I just wanted to illustrate two very different sides of child care. If you want actual stories, pictures and etc., you will have to come hang out with me (in all of my free time...)

My roommate is leaving. She is getting married in June and is planning on moving into their new apartment (not in Athens) around May 1st. I only have 2 more weeks as a roommate, with a roommate...then I'm going to be all by myself. This also has two sides. On one hand I think I will love it, I think I am ready to just live by myself, have my own space and all that. On the other hand I think I am going to be scaredy and nervous more. Most of all I am going to be lonely. I don't know what to do with myself after the kids leave as it is. I count the minutes until Ashley will get home from work anyway just waiting to talk to someone I love, about the day or not, about what we are going to do for supper or later that evening. I really feel like a little girl when I ask, "So, what are we going to to today!?"

That also leaves me with some decisions to make. My lease here is up July 31st...so do I move? Do I stay and pay ALL the rent? Do I find another roommate [who wouldn't hate that we have kids and kid stuff everywhere all the time]? I think I'm going to move. But is this really where I want to be? Is home daycare what I really want to do? Because if not...I want to leave. It is the only thing keeping me in Athens right now since this is the place all of my clients are, my networks, any connections that I feel I could use to even GET kids to keep at my home. I don't have any friends here and the ones I still consider my friends are leaving. Or worse, staying and making choices that break my heart and I don't want to be around anymore anyway.

But if I do home daycare I want to stay close...and buy a house...because there aren't many apartment complexes that will let you do it. PLUS, there are specific things you need to have to be able to be a registered home daycare provider...such as a fence, a yard...things you can't modify on property that is not yours... But if I leave Athens I will just remain a renter. (I hate renting...but seeing as how I am broke I can't really afford to buy a house anyway.)

So where do I go? I want to be at the beach. I would live in Orlando, because it is WARM and close to the beach. I would work at Disney World. Even as a cotton candy seller...just to pay the bills and at least work at the "happiest place on earth..." [right] I would have a friend in Orlando, even though she is about to have a whole new life, more school, real [involved] job, etc... I also know at least one family to baby sit for down there (because that seems to be about the only thing I actually LIKE and am good at doing.)

I could live in St. Simons. I would already have a church, lots of connections to families to baby-sit for [and get adopted by]...and again, I would be at the beach.

I would live in Greenville, SC...but that's colder than here and that does NOT meet my criteria for a place to live. (Warmer climate being the ONLY criteria really...) I would know people there too. A really good friend of mine is moving there with her sister, my old youth directors and their sons (the first boy I ever loved and the love of my life baby (though he is almost 9...) and my grandmother lives there. I would feel good about church there too, therefore families and baby sitting. AND its close. I just don't know where to LIVE, like actually move my things into.

AND when I move, if I am NOT doing home daycare WHAT am I going to do? What am I going to do with my investment...all of the toys and books and games, mats, sheets, clothes, art supplies, CDs, DVDs, shelving and storage...carseats, strollers...and anything else...? I don't want to give them away...I'll just buy them again at some point...because home daycare is what I want to do eventually, in a house, in my home...

Birthday Fun!

Well, I am 26! Today is my birthday and it has been so nice! I think I like weekend birthdays! The celebrating began with my school kids. One of our moms brought in cupcakes, a special drinking glass for me, and we had a little party. Earlier the kids and I had hung up a H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y banner and gotten out the fun butterfly party plates I had chosen so the place was all ready for party. They even made me blow out imaginary candles. My 2 year-old "sang" the happy birthday song to me for the rest of the day. It was precious. For some reason I think it is one of the cutest things when babies "sing" songs that you can't understand a word of but that you know they are singing because the tune is perfect! I love it! The kids left early and I was free for the weekend...that is an excellent birthday present in itself!

I had had a really rough patch in my day because of a little bit of hurtful news I received and so I was THRILLED to have dinner with my sister Erika and her husband Matt. We ate Cali N Titos where I had delicious Tilapia and fresh squeezed lime-aid. I even got to see one of my former babies (students)! Love. love, love me some Elliott!!!

Erika and I caught up some and discussed more serious matters pressing on my heart. It made me feel so much better to have someone who knows me listen to me, affirm my feelings and understand me! I enjoyed the much needed baby sister moments I had. There is nothing like TLC from my sisters. The mood returned to normal as we began to reminisce a little, as I believe any and all encounters with long-time friends should. I really love when you spend enough time with someone that all of those things occur. I also am thankful for friends that I can laugh and have a good time with and also take it deeper the very next moment. It is such a blessing to have friends like this in my life. AND Erika gave me a new nightgown for my birthday! See, who would know that nightgowns are like my favorite thing ever!? Erika. Because she lived with me and made fun of me everyday of my life because I wore nightgowns. She said I looked like a grandma. But this one is SO not grandma-ish...it is SO cute!

For those of you who know me well you also know that it might be one of my life's ambitions to Save the Princess in the original NES game Super Mario Bros. It was my goal my freshmen year of college. When I became I sophomore and junior and senior and had still not accomplished this goal I just extended the deadline. Before I graduate...before 2010...before I'm 25...within my 25th year...before I get married...before I have kids...before I die, ok, the goal is the goal...I really wanted this year to be the year...I wanted to say I beat that game tonight, here with friends, video games for my birthday, what more could a girl ask for...Well needless to say tonight was not the night. If indeed in my lifetime I ever achieve this you [all] will be the first to know.

So...cupcakes, good food, good friends, video games...went to bed and slept a TON of hours...I LOVE to sleep for days at a time. Last weekend I slept for 16 hours...this weekend not so long but still, like 12. Then I got PAID for NOT baby sitting. (The family I always baby sit for on Saturday nights had to cancel for that night but he insisted on paying me anyway!) I went shopping, my mom came, went shopping some more, got lots of things I needed and lots of things I wanted. Most exciting thing...a car booster seat... Don't hate, I am SO excited about this because it is going to save ME so much hassle in my day-to-day life. Then my mom took me out to eat at one of my favorite places--Red Lobster! I got shrimp bruschetta, and more tilapia--stuffed with crab and seafood...stuff...and of course cheddar bay biscuits and a sunset colada! I was so full that thought I was probably going to thrown up. TO top that off we went to Dairy Queen and got my cake--the kind of cake I have wanted for YEARS for my birthday, to make all of my birthday dreams come true.

My mom and I played What Not to Wear when we got back to my apartment and when she left I got right to work on the millions of projects I had to get done! I was very productive and stayed up super late getting things accomplished. I cleaned some, but mostly got things picked up to clean well today and prepare for Ashley's arrival home. I worked in the nursery, was taken out for another meal, had Lydia over all afternoon and baby-sat for a home group...MORE yummy food...more people I love...LOTS of text messages, phone calls, emails and facebook messages, etc...all in all, very good day...THEN... I had 2 of my best friends come over for awhile. One of them hadn't seen my house since the PLP transformation. That made me very proud to show her.

They brought me flowers, and presents and a homemade cake. We talked about their Spring Breaks a bit and all of our crazy weeks ahead. I felt very loved and blessed. It was a very great birthday--even though I wasn't in Jamaica or another foreign country that my heart loves.

Milk Men

This morning I woke up to discover I had no milk. I can't eat cereal without milk and I can't get up unless I eat cereal. So I went back to bed...for 3 or 4 hours. That was my rationale. If I go back to sleep maybe when I wake up this time there will be milk in the fridge! The milk man will have come! How come we don't have milk men anymore!? That would be SO nice, to just have fresh milk on your doorstep whenever you needed it. Milk is seriously the sole reason I have to go to the grocery store in the first place. It's fine if I am out of anything else but when the milk is gone...it's time to go. Then when I got over the injustice of no more milk men...I lost all reason.

I thought maybe the milk FAIRY will have come! She will have magically sensed the need for milk in my house, like the tooth fairy magically knows when you lose a tooth...and I will stumble to the fridge in my barely-awake-eyes-haven't-adjusted-to-the-light-no-equilibrium-state and open the door to see a SPARKLING brand new carton of milk! The sound that would happen for this in the movies would happen in my house too... ahhh, to dream big.

I had a few more fleeting thoughts of waking up to realize I had been dreaming the first time when I had discovered no milk and there actually WAS milk...or that I will have gone to the grocery store in my sleep and bought milk...and lastly that it would magically be spring and it wouldn't be too cold when I wake up this time to ACTUALLY go to the grocery store. But so much for all of that positive-yet-unrealistic thinking. I woke up again and alas, no milk. AND--no Spring.

The Blog Fog

This title is brought to you by Clay Kirkland...and although I don't have a new baby and there is still no real excuse for my absence, there are some reasons why I haven't blogged lately. OK, ever...especially in the last 2 months. I was doing 2 posts a month for awhile...and that crashed and burned somewhere in November I think...but I MUST NOT have a month in my archives that doesn't have at least one post. That would hurt my heart. It would upset the balance in my life...and I can never go back and fix it. It would be something I regretted for the rest of my life. I am serious...That is my OCP(D) talking.

Sooo...of course I can't go back and capture an entire two months in one adequately entertaining (and concise) entry I will give a short list, title and description of blog posts that I really hope to expound on soon. Also, if you want to hear about one in particular you should tell me and I will write about it sooner.

Lets see...recap... I got a promotion. I became the assistant director at "the daycare." My hours changed from 7 to 3 to 10 to 6. My schedule was ROCKED. I got sick and I hated it.

I lost my voice for a whole entire week. It was awesome. I never lose my voice and I did, for a week. AND during this wonderful time I got pulled over for speeding and I couldn't talk to the officer. Guess what? He still gave me a ticket.

My title at "the daycare" became program director. I wrote a plan of curriculum for the whole center for the rest of the year. It was really cool, we planned an event for the first month and I tied together the schools music and art programs which had become very lacking as we lost our "artistic director" (who only did music). Things began to be very fulfilling at work as I was being appropriately challenged in my strengths. HOWEVER...

We suffered a huge budget...um...issue and I had to return to the classroom. No more directorship. Back to the mundane. Changing diapers. Wiping noses. Herding cats. No support. No resources, oh, and no adult interactions. Well, there was no going backwards for me and I couldn't handle it. I suggested we restructure a LOT of things that I had encountered problems with when I was in the position of authority.

I suggested that we move a few infants (2) up who were beginning to be mobile and needed to be out of the infant room. THAT would help the constant over-ratio-ness of the infant room. But that would make us over in the 1's. SO I would move up to the 2's taking 4 of my kids with me who were over the age that they needed to be to enter the 2's room. That would leave the infant room good, and now the other teacher in the 1's would only have 5 babies. 6-15 months...better than 8-19 months. AND I didn't have to deal with one of the infants that was moving up...who is probably my second most despised child in the world. Both of them are boys and under the age of 10 months old. Spawn. of. Satan.

So then I would be a new teacher in the 2's with the existing teacher. The teacher I replaced moved up with several of her children that were "ready" for the 3's...making the numbers more even in each of the two toddler classes and giving the existing teacher in the 3's an assistant. It really was a good plan...until it sucked.

I had lots of meetings filled with lots of suggestions on how to improve the problems we were all encountering. Nothing resulted of the meetings... I would like to post some of the correspondence here that went down at those meetings...

Owner walked in my room one day and snatched up a screaming child and removed them from the room. THIS is a great story. I gave my two weeks notice today.

Lots of parents became FURIOUS and it just kind of all began to fall apart. I was leaving, parents were calling a meeting, staff weren't invited, there was hiring and tours going on...and of course the awkwardness of relationships between me and the owner...

I became Jack-aline Bauer and went dark on my tactical mission to get intel from the covert parent meeting. We arranged live feed from an inside source, tapped into a mobile phone and gathered to listen. I decided I needed to push further. This guy wasn't giving in, there was more he wasn't saying and he had to talk. He was our best lead. I dressed in all black (ok, I didn't, but had I more time I would have more thoroughly gotten into character including outfit, black smudges under my eyes and technical support. Perhaps I would have downloaded the building schematics to my PDA. ) I stealthily and skillfully moved from the location I had hidden my car, avoiding the lit areas and staying close to the shadows. I would like to be able to say that I did this cool move where you are running low to the ground and then kind of do this cross between sitting indian style while spinning around...but I only have level 3 access and haven't been cleared for that kind of maneuver. You know I always stick to protocol. ANYWAY-- I used the access code my analyst gave me (or the one I used to enter the building everyday) and I avoided the windows and other areas where I could have been seen. However, unfortunately my identity was compromised. I was seen by the director's husband (and child) and two others, parents, one a close friend of the owners. Regardless of this I didn't abandon my mission. I found a place to hide in an abandoned room, positioned myself against a partition and listened in on everything... Details of the meeting will have to be posted later although I would like to finish this story with the fact that I had to act fast to escape, climbed a fenced, army crawled (ok, jogged) across a field and then trespassed through someone's gate to get to the street to run back to my car. It was AMAZING. If you ever feel the need to have a stealth mission like this please call me. However not if the activities are of illegal nature because I think that this area might be a weakness for me and I don't want to venture over to the illegal side of sneaking and saving the world.

ohhhhkkkaaaayyyy.... I went to Disney World by myself. I ran a toll and almost got arrested and then I cried for an hour. THIS is also a VERY entertaining story.

My blog had it's first birthday.

It has been 1 year since I lived in Jamaica for a month.

I'm really bummed that I'm not in Jamaica right now.

I have been in a nice sunny city/country both times it has snowed big in Athens and I am not sad about missing it either time.

I have decided that twins might be the most unfair thing God could do to human beings. Right there along with tiny infants getting sick and their mommies being sick at the same time. Then the most recent thing I have to write about is a bit premature but I guarantee you that within 2 weeks I will be able to write about it AND post pictures. And I know you understand why now that I couldn't really write about all of the drama with "the daycare" and really why I never got to post about kid stories and cute kid pictures... but I am going to be back on my game soon.